You Know You’ve Overdosed On NASCAR When

By Amy Hair
Cup Scene Daily
August 31
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Your CD collection consists of pod casts of your favorite driver’s interviews, race chatter and miscellaneous commercials, and whoever rides in your car with you has to listen to your favorite of the week while you narrate. Never mind that they keep looking at their watches and giving you that look of deep worry and concern…

You love to go to the local gas station, buy a drink and hang out inside looking at the big cut out of your favorite driver advertising his sponsor’s wares, until the clerk starts to give you dirty looks.

You have your driver’s number on your key chain, your check book, you socks, your pajamas, your shirts, your hats, your purse, your earrings, your belly ring, your toe ring, your watch, your scanner, your car, and tattooed on a part of you that has never been seen by anyone other than your doctor.

-(Cont'd from front page) Your cell phone rings are a conglomeration of everything from “Gentlemen, Start Your Engines” to your driver’s voice yelling at you to answer the phone. And when it goes off in church you scramble to turn it off while at the same time you are wondering if anyone is envious of your awesome ring.

Your bedroom is a walk in shrine to your driver and all his accomplishments. You have every die cast in every size, every ticket from every race you’ve been too, every program from those races, and your sheets match your comforter and your curtains, all with your driver’s number and colors on them. Your collection of beer cans with the racing emblems on them are neatly arranged near the plastic cups you bring home from every race. This is the room that your friends avoid, as it just confirms their suspicions that you have absolutely lost touch with reality.

You get up earlier than you used to so you can check all the NASCAR sites on your NASCAR computer to see if anything of great importance happened during the night hours. After all, you never know when something might occur and you don’t want to miss it. We’ll just forget that you never, ever in your life got up early for anybody or anything…until now.

You plan your vacation around the races, and make it your lifetime goal to make it to each of the major tracks at least once. Heck, they won’t miss you at those family reunions…there’s so many Aunts, Uncles and cousins…won’t even notice you’re not there…right?

You fire off an emotion filled e-mail to the jerk of a reporter that said something obnoxious about your driver…even though you have never even written a letter to the editor.

And finally…you own every NASCAR book that your local bookstore carries and they are scattered all over the house for all to enjoy. It doesn’t matter that no one else has any desire to read about the history of NASCAR…you just know that they’ll come around someday…I mean they have to right? Something would be really wrong with them if they didn’t learn to love it as much as you, don’t you think?

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