--(Cont'd From Front Page)-- I bet if someone made one of those hanging air fresheners that you hang on your car mirror and shaped it like a tire and made it smell like brand new racing tires lots of guys would buy them and hang them in their cars…heck I would, I love that smell. Dang, I bet that one’s already out there because that’s just too easy.

Then there’s the smell of those tires as they burn up when the guys do donuts after the race, or when they slam on the brakes in the pits, or rev it up a bit too much pulling out of the garage area…yep, I love that smell too…but not sure how we could sell that one, unless we do a scratch and sniff birthday card…yeah, that would work right? What better thing for a racing fan than to open up a birthday card that smells like burnt rubber? Yeehaw, that would make my day for sure!

And of course there is that smell of the exhaust wafting through the air as you stroll by the garage area. Now that’s a smell! That one gets caught in the hairs in your nose and stays with you for several hours. It’s that same smell that you get to see later on when you blow your nose. You know, that black dust coating the tissue, great stuff. Not sure how we could bottle and sell that smell though, unless we put wind socks over the exhaust pipes and catch a wad of that black dust, then sell it in tiny increments like expensive perfume. All the customer has to do is add just a touch of burnt oil to the dust to bring back that “I’m at the track” smell….ah…now that’s heaven. No? Ah come on…every race fan loves that smell.

Well, if we can’t sell the smells, what else can we sell? How about the sounds? With today’s technology I’m sure we could record the sound of the pack as they round turn four at Daytona and go flying buy. Heck, if you record it on a testing day, there isn’t any crowd noise from the grandstands, so you can hear the cars all the way around the track, it’s very cool. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to hear any piece of equipment that harnesses that sound as clear and amazing as it is in person. But if they could? Well then, put me down for a few copies of that! I usually crank my radio up in the house when I’m cleaning, but I guarantee I’d clean a lot faster and be a lot happier about it if I had the sound of all those horses vibrating my house while I gently dusted my collection of racing memorabilia.

There is the smell of all the suntan lotion and beer that mixes together and floats across the grandstand too, but those are already bottled and sold so we won’t make any money there. Besides, they don’t smell too good after about three hours of sweating and guzzling…yuck.

Alrighty then, how about an autograph book that has a honing device inside…when you get to the track, you dial in the driver whose signature you need, turn on the tiny little computer and throw the book in the air. It finds your driver and hovers around him like a gnat on a banana until he gets so annoyed he signs the darn thing. The driver then pitches the book over his shoulder at about the same time that the book senses a new autograph has been added. It promptly reverses the route it took to get there and returns to you, signed and ready for the next victim…er, driver.

I suppose for now I’ll just have to settle for a new key chain, a drink holder, a license plate and a shirt. I’ll grab a drink, put on my shirt, tighten up the license plate on my car and crank it up with my new key chain. I guess it doesn’t get much better than that huh?

Although I really do think we can figure out how to bottle that garage smell…maybe we can incorporate it into the air filter in our air conditioners and heaters? Yeah! That way every time the air clicks on we’ll get a nice burst of garage smell…all without the black dust up our noses! I’m liking that…yep, works for me. So don’t be surprised if you see home air filters hooked on the back of your favorite racing man’s car exhaust. Of course, I still have to convince them that it’s worth the effort, time and speed impairment that dragging that around would cause. And that might be a bit difficult since they probably didn’t like my garage smell wind socks that I tried to put on there already. I know, we’ll give them a cut of the profit, that sounds like a plan right? So…what do you think…10%?

Reader comments are the sole responsibility of the person posting them. You agree not to post comments that are off topic, defamatory, obscene, abusive, threatening or an invasion of privacy

NOTE: I'm a one man show, not supported by anyone. If you wish to donate to help offset expense, it would be appreciated:

toolbar powered by Conduit

BACK TO FRONT PAGE<